I published this article a few years back elsewhere on the web, but thought I would re-work it a little for my blog. Usually I write for clients but this time it’s for other sex workers. It’s a bit of an essay if I’m honest – have you got tea and Jaffa Cakes to hand? Good, then I’ll begin.
Working safely as an escort, whether it’s independently or part of an agency, is crucial. If you don’t, at best, your time will be repeatedly wasted. At worst, well, you don’t need me to tell you what could happen. One thing we know at Elite Courtesans is outcalls. And we know how to do them safely. So for those of you starting out in the industry, I’ve listed some pointers below to help you stay safe and minimise time wasters as much as possible.
1. Don’t ever answer calls from withheld numbers. In fact, go a step further and download a blocker app for your mobile phone – you can then block withheld calls without ever being disturbed. The reason every escort on the planet lists ‘no private numbers’ on her website is because the men who hide behind 141 are exclusively douchebags that will waste your time.
2. Don’t respond to texts from unknown numbers. Unless you like being strung along by bored losers who will eventually send you a picture of their erect penis, that is. Assume if a guy doesn’t initiate first contact with a polite telephone call, he’s either 15, or a time waster. Also beware the guys who call briefly and then bombard you with texts. If you’ve taken my advice and downloaded a blocker app, add them straight to the sin bin. If not, save them in your phone as ZZ Monkey Fucker (or whatever), so you know never to respond to them in the future. The ZZ means they sit at the end of the your contact list. Out of sight, out of mind.
3. Don’t take bookings over email. Really? Yes, really. While it’s OK to answer initial queries over email (don’t get too carried away, email time wasters are just as prevalent), always speak to the potential client before accepting a booking. Chatting on the phone is absolutely the only way to get a good feeling (or not) for the guy. Your ‘escort telephone sense’ will develop rapidly.
4. How to spot a time waster on the phone. It’s mostly common sense, but none the less when you’re new this can be daunting. Here are some tell-tale signs the call should be terminated: is he going into excessive detail about outfits or services? Did he initially ask for a 1 hour booking and then accept without question that the minimum booking time for his area is 3 hours? Has he asked for an overnight booking, money no object (not always time wasters but treat with caution)? Is he asking to meet at a Travelodge (more on this later), bed and breakfast, halls of residence, army barracks, in his office or at ‘a friend’s’ house? Has he told you he has a big cock and is amazing in bed? In my very extensive experience, genuine customers have the utmost respect for your time, and do not keep you on the phone longer than a quick chat and to arrange the details. Anyone who yaps on for ages, bin em!
Remember, not everyone who is a time waster knows they are a time waster. Some men are just complete fantasists who will pull out of the booking when the time comes close. If you get an inkling that you’re dealing with one of those (overly nervous, hesitant etc), don’t bother with the booking in the first place.
5. Verifying identities – private residences. For outcalls to private residences, take his full name, address and landline telephone number. We use 192.com to check the electoral roll online (this will also bring up directory enquiries and info from companies house). Once verified, don’t forget to call the client on his landline, or have him call you, to confirm that he is actually at that address.
Of course, life isn’t always that easy. Clients can opt-out of the online electoral role AND their landlines can be ex-directory. In this scenario, I always Google his numbers – mobile and landline – using all different variations 01234555555, 01234 555555 and 01234 555 555. Those spaces do make a difference in Google! Sometimes you will score a hit – a business website, advert, whatever (must be a good source) that verifies his name and address. Don’t forget to check out his email address too, if you have it.
Failing that, at Elite we will ALWAYS get proof of address, and this means asking him to scan in or photograph a bill and email it to us (a phone bill showing the landline or mobile is ideal). Genuine clients do not mind doing this. I can’t remember the last time I was ever refused. Don’t feel that as an independent escort you won’t get away with being so ‘demanding’ – you will – and it might just be your saving grace.
Still no luck? Hotel meet only then for this client.
6. Visiting hotels. Hotels are much easier. In this case, you want the client’s full name, hotel details and his reservation number (if it’s an advance booking). If he’s already in the hotel, and it’s the day of the meeting, you’ll need his room number.
The first rule of hotel bookings is: never leave home until the client has checked in and you have called his room to verify that he is there. For short notice hotel bookings, I will always confirm the name the client gave me with reception before being put through to the room: ‘Hi, I’d like to speak to Mr Andy Davies, I think he’s in room 212, can you double-check that’s right before putting me through?’
For advance bookings to hotels, as well as ringing the room on the day, I will always call the hotel to check the reservation beforehand. I don’t think I’ve ever once been asked who I am – receptionists just assume I’m the client’s wife or his PA. So just something like: ‘Hi, I’m just calling to double-check you have Mr Mohammed Aziz booked in for Sept 1st?’ No justifications needed – sound confident, don’t talk too much and make sure you have the correct spelling.
I’d always recommend calling again on the day of the booking to check the client hasn’t cancelled his reservation. If he has, you can put yourself back on the rota for that night with hopefully enough time to spare to find a replacement client!
Regarding names, musical sounding concoctions such as ‘Steve Smith’ or ‘Andy Anderson’ should put you on your guard. And if anyone asks why you need their surname or real name, hang up and stick them on a blacklist. The good ones never ask.
A note about hotels. Avoid the Travelodge – they don’t have telephones in the rooms. Always check with Premier Inns (hit and miss) and other budget hotels that they have phones in rooms before fully accepting a booking there. Also, if you’ve never heard of the hotel the client is proposing, check it out online. If it’s 7 bedroom family run hotel or a run down bolt-hole for dossers and drug addicts, AVOID.
Lastly, late night visits to hotels can raise eyebrows at the front desk and cause problems, especially as doors often get locked. Do you really want to work through the night? What type of client is going to call you out at 1am? A drunk one, most probably.
7. Money. You should only ever accept payment in cash – Pounds Sterling. Do not accept foreign currency that you are not used to handling. Do not accept cheques, even from regulars, they will be cancelled. Ask for the cash within the first 5 minutes of meeting and COUNT IT. If you wish, do it in the bathroom. Never fall into the trap of not checking cash. Sometimes a simple miscount on the client’s behalf can leave you out-of-pocket. Buy and use a forged note detector pan on a few notes if you are unsure. Hide the cash well in your bag, preferably in a zip pocket/hidden compartment. Your bag never leaves your side during the booking. If you go to the loo, the bag goes too!
8. Instinct is the best protection you have. Always trust it. Hopefully, if you’ve marketed yourself correctly, you’ll never be short of work. But if you do find yourself running low, still never take risks that you wouldn’t entertain normally. If you walk into a hotel room or a house and something doesn’t feel right, say you left your condoms in the car and leave (don’t take his cash). If your client is drunk, on drugs or obnoxious/aggressive, leave. If you find more than one man waiting for you, leave. Again, if you’ve marketed yourself correctly, most guys you meet will make a real effort for your date, be thoroughly lovely and treat you like a princess, but the odd tosser can always slip through the net.
9. Sexual health. Get yourself to your local sexual health clinic and get checked regularly. Tell them you’re a sex worker – give a fake name, your real DOB, no address and just a mobile. They accepted this. You’ll get a completely different level of care from your normal girl about town if you are honest with them. Make sure you get throat swabs and tell them if you offer anal so they can check there too. If they don’t offer you it, ask for the fast tracked Hepatitis B jabs.
During your booking, give the client a discreet once over before the fun begins (if the client turns out the lights, that’s not normal, turn them back on). If you see anything out of the ordinary, don’t take the risk. Condoms do not protect against warts, herpes etc that can spread over the groin and beyond. Don’t offer OWO if you have bleeding gums, open mouth sores or have been to the dentist. Don’t let guys come near your eyes or nose. Don’t offer CIM without being fully aware of the risks. Swap condoms regularly during vigorous intercourse to reduce the risk of them breaking. Doing a duo (two escorts)? Make sure the client swaps condoms between girls.
10. Discretion. Knowing a girl who was stalked by a nutter recently (he came across as totally normal to begin with), this section is particularly important to me. Keep your real name to yourself. All clients will ask for it, it’s normal and understandable, but I’d recommend you give them another fake name (or none at all) and don’t tell them where you live. Don’t carry a purse full of photo ID with you (carry none in fact) and put a pin lock on your phone that must be entered before it can be browsed/used. All you need to carry is a small amount of cash for parking/emergencies (don’t forget change), your mobile, a selection of lingerie, condoms, lube, a toy etc.
I’d recommend you always crop, blur or disguise your facial features on your photos. You don’t need to show your face to work successfully. Similarly, avoid being filmed or photographed during bookings, but if you must allow it, don’t allow them to include your face. You may not have anything to lose right now, but your future may be different. You don’t want this work coming back to bite you on the ass. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for hidden cameras – it does happen! Does your client keep trying to position you in a certain way or in a certain area of the room?
11. Escort buddies. If you’re not working for an agency, ALWAYS have someone on hand to check in and out of bookings with (I’d recommend calling or texting your buddy to let them know you’ve arrived in front of your client). Be that a close friend, a partner or another escort. This person needs to know exactly where you are and what time you plan on leaving. If you don’t leave on time, they need to call your phone. If they can’t reach you, they need to call the police. This person must be trustworthy and reliable.
You’ll read countless times punters describing girls as ‘clock watchers’. What they really mean when they say this is that the escort didn’t give them any extra time for free. Don’t worry about all that bollocks. Leave your bookings not early of course, but promptly, and avoid getting into the habit of being tardy with your time. If your escort buddy is used to you hanging around bookings longer than you should, when and if something does go wrong, he/she is less likely to be concerned. If the gent wants some extra time, he can pay for it, and you can ring your buddy and say he’s paid for an extra hour (or whatever).
12. Network. Don’t forget to read the punting forums. The warnings sections can be a rich source of information. Do your bit and report any wronguns you encounter too. Here’s a few to get you started:
- Captain69 (subscription only – more of a lean towards London)
- The Oldest Profession
En fin. I think. It’s possible I will think of a few other tips as time goes by which I will add to the comments. I hope some of you find this blog useful and that it helps you stay safe. Since this one has been a bit serious, I thought I’d include my favourite video clip by my favourite comedian about my least favourite hotel chain ever to finish things off. Er yeah, enjoy!